The Day the Dealerships Closed

I work at a Chevy dealership in Southeast Michigan about 15 miles away from Detroit.  To say that the economy has hit us hard is a huge understatement.  I'm going to make a few claims before going on with this article...

• The media (local news, newspapers, etc.) is a huge reason that the economy is tanking.
• The media "likes" to publish/broadcast negative articles because fear sells.
• In 13 years of selling cars, this is as bad as I have seen it.

With those three assumptions, on with the article!

Well, GM is closing a shit-load of dealerships and the big thing was waiting for the "package from FedEx" that would be a letter stating that you were one of the closing dealerships.

Early in the day, our dealer got a call from someone at GM--we were safe from closure.

A half an hour later, someone from a local Detroit news station came by--he had his little news truck parked outside--filled with cameras, microphones and the other evil tools to spread the bad news that spreads harder and faster than the swine flu!  Here is a little script paraphrasing the conversation with the bad-newsman and our dealer.

Bad News Man: So--did you guys get the "package?"

Dealer: No.

Bad News Man: So--you still might get the package, right? (he was really hoping that we would!)

Dealer: No--we got a call instead.

Bad News Man (Smiling): Did they say that you are getting a package?

Dealer: No--they said we are safe.

Bad News Man (Grasping...): But--you still--uh--might get a package, right?

Dealer: No--we are safe.  We are not closing.

He looked like someone told him there is no Santa Claus.

Dealer: Do you still want to interview me.

Bad News Man (Sad): I guess we can do a quick one outside.

Me (Marv): (Grinning but acting serious) Do you want us to act like we're closing so you can get your story???

You should have seen the bastards face then!!!  LOL.  Needless to say, they went outside for a hurried interview and the "good news" article never made the evening news.

OK--a few hours later--I'm talking to a Bad News Woman.

Me: have you been to any dealerships that are closing.

Big Fat-Assed Bad News Woman (Visibly Depressed): No--but we have several crews out there and a couple of them have gotten "lucky."

Me: Well, I hope you get "lucky" and find a dealership that's closing.  While you're at it, maybe you'll get "lucky" and find a baby that's killed in a fire or something.

BFABNW: I didn't mean it that way.

Me: Naw--it's alright.  It's good that you are doing this because you will be going through this in a couple of years when the three news stations merge or close down because people can get news faster and better through the internet.

You should have seen the look on the fat bastard's face!

OK--the day is almost over.  In pops a young dude with a camera.  I can't help myself at this point.

Me: Are you here to do an article about the great news?  You know--the new camera that the astronauts are putting in the Hubble Space Telescope?  It will increase its power by ninety times and allow us to see deeper into the universe!

Him: Yes I am! (He laughs)  No, actually I'm here to report the great news that you guys are staying open.

Bless his heart!

Well, there are still going to be more cuts and I hope we don't get chopped.  I feel I have some basic skills and that I can sell cars anywhere but I like where I am.  I have 6-years worth of customers there, the managers have faith in me and leave me alone, it's close to home and I work with some good friends and for an honest dealer.  My heart goes out to all of you who have gotten the bad news--I wish I had some words of encouragement but this is all I have.  You are skilled at what you do and can sell cars anywhere.  Good luck.